


Through Dusk and Dawn

by Pandora151



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Obi-Wan Kenobi Gets a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Post-Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, Support, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:41:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28992348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandora151/pseuds/Pandora151
Summary: On the first anniversary of Qui-Gon Jinn's death, Anakin wakes to a few realizations.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 32
Kudos: 130





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, and Happy New Year! (I know it's almost the end of January but I literally haven't posted anything since last year lol)
> 
> I am super super busy with irl stuff and writing, but I did want to get something posted here before the end of the month, so here's the first part of a two-part Whumptober 2020 fic!
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Anakin woke up to see the sunlight streaming through his curtains.

He frowned at the light, squinting around his room. Usually, Obi-Wan would wake him up every day at the crack of dawn to do early morning meditation. It was exhausting, but after it was done, he would get to watch the sun rise over Coruscant’s skyline, which was a really beautiful sight.

But today, there was none of that. No Obi-Wan, no sunrise, and no meditation.

Anakin sat up slowly, stretching his arms above his head. Once he felt a bit more awake, he pushed the covers off of his lap and swung his legs to the side of the bed.

Then, in a split-second, he was up and running out of the room.

“Obi-Wan?” he called, looking around the empty common area.

Usually, Obi-Wan would be sitting on the couch while waiting for Anakin to finish freshening up after morning meditation. Or, if he wasn’t on the couch, then he’d be sitting out in the balcony with a datapad.

Obi-Wan wasn’t sitting on the couch, or in the balcony. Anakin dashed into the kitchen, but he didn’t see Obi-Wan there, either.

“Obi-Wan?” he tried again, a bit louder.

No response. Anakin felt something twist in his stomach.

Did Obi-Wan…leave? He knew that Obi-Wan didn’t really want to train him—he remembered what he said to Master Qui-Gon, just before he died. And sure, Obi-Wan acted a bit distant and sad at times, but Anakin realized over the past few months that it was just a part of his personality.

That, and he knew that Obi-Wan had to be grieving Master Qui-Gon in his own way.

After all, Qui-Gon’s death was now…

Anakin blinked.

Slowly, He walked towards the cooling unit, looking at the chrono that displayed the date and the time. He was still working on reading in Basic, but reading time was no problem, considering numbers were important for droid engineering.

Anakin read the date and sighed.

He forgot. How could he forget?

Slowly, he turned around and left the kitchen. He walked across the common area, back to the bedrooms. Anakin walked past his own bedroom to the second one, taking in the sight of the closed door that would usually be left wide open, regardless of whether Obi-Wan was inside or not.

He lifted a hand and knocked quietly.

“Obi-Wan?” he asked, voice soft. “I…I just realized that today is a year since…”

Anakin swallowed, feeling the nerves climbing up his stomach.

“I just…you don’t have to be alone, okay? I’m right outside, if you need me. Whatever you need. I mean, I know I’m probably not what you need, but…if you just need another person, I’m here,” he rambled, leaning sideways against the door frame.

Great. This was going…not well. He was losing his train of thought.

Anakin sighed, letting his shoulders slump. Then, he turned around and walked back into the common area. He sat down on the couch, fiddling with his sleeve.

What was he supposed to do _now_? Should he call someone, or give Obi-Wan some more time? Anakin found himself in a position he never really expected himself to be in, and it was…unsettling.

Behind him, a door opened.

Anakin looked up, to where Obi-Wan was standing, staring at him with empty eyes. His hair was in disarray, sticking up everywhere, as though Obi-Wan had just run a hand through it moments before opening the door.

“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan murmured. He stood very still in the doorway, as though he was unsure of what to do with himself. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“Are you okay?” Anakin asked, standing up slowly. “I don’t—” He cut himself off, the words catching in his throat. “Are you?”

Obi-Wan’s eyes moved away, to the floor, and then he took a deep breath.

“No, I don’t think so,” he replied, voice cracking. He closed his eyes, leaning sideways against the doorway with a tired sigh. “I’m sorry.”

Anakin shook his head. “It’s not your fault,” he said. “Do you want tea, or something? Or…what will help, Obi-Wan?”

He watched as Obi-Wan continued breathing, standing against the doorway. Then, he opened his eyes and walked over to the couch, sitting down next to Anakin with a sigh.

Then, he turned towards Anakin, eyes shining.

“Thank you,” Obi-Wan murmured. “You’ve been so supportive, Anakin, while…all of this has been happening. I’m sorry I haven’t been myself, and I’m trying, but…”

His voice trailed off as he closed his eyes, looking horribly alone.

Anakin swallowed. “Can I…” Uncertainty gripped his thoughts. “Can I hug you, Obi-Wan?”

Obi-Wan nodded slowly. “Yes, I…I think that would help. I’m— _oof_!” He grunted as Anakin launched himself at Obi-Wan, practically climbing into his lap as he wrapped his arms around his neck, putting his face directly onto his shoulder.

Anakin felt Obi-Wan adjust slightly before bringing his arms back around Anakin’s shoulders. He felt Obi-Wan tremble slightly before a weight fell onto his shoulder, and then his tunic was getting damp with tears.

But it didn’t matter—not really. Obi-Wan needed him, and so Anakin would be there for him, just like he knew Obi-Wan would always be there for him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every time Obi-Wan closed his eyes, he heard the sound of two lightsabers screeching against each other, along with Qui-Gon’s quiet, pained cry. Through a film of red, he would see Qui-Gon fall, over and over and over again.
> 
> And he would hear himself screaming until he woke up, heart thumping loudly in his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry about the delay; had a bit of a busy week.
> 
> Here's chapter 2. Enjoy! :)

He couldn’t sleep.

Every time Obi-Wan closed his eyes, he heard the sound of two lightsabers screeching against each other, along with Qui-Gon’s quiet, pained cry. Through a film of red, he would see Qui-Gon fall, over and over and _over_ again.

And he would hear himself screaming until he woke up, heart thumping loudly in his ears.

It was a common nightmare at this point. Obi-Wan was used to it.

When he finally caved and told the Mind Healers about it a few months ago, they gave him a few meditation exercises to try before going to sleep every night. When those turned out to be completely ineffective, they tried giving him a few other exercises.

Eventually, the Healers offered him some sleeping pills, which Obi-Wan tentatively accepted and tried only once.

He ended up being pulled into a nightmare so vivid that he screamed loud enough to wake up Anakin, who ended up calling Bant for help because he couldn’t wake Obi-Wan up.

Needless to say, that was the only time he tried the sleeping pills.

Besides that, though, he was fine.

Sure, Obi-Wan didn’t really have much of an appetite most of the time, but he managed. He was sure that Anakin noticed, but he never really said anything about it.

He’d get headaches sometimes because of the broken bond. He couldn’t really use a lightsaber without being transported back to that power generator, Qui-Gon’s scream echoing in his ears.

But despite that, it was getting better…until it wasn’t.

The days after Qui-Gon’s death soon turned to weeks, and then months. Time was flying by, and Obi-Wan found himself caught up in the work that went into training a Padawan.

He was so busy that he didn’t realize that a year had passed until he woke up that morning and glanced at the chrono.

Obi-Wan blinked, slowly sinking back into his pillows.

A year ago, Obi-Wan defeated a Sith Lord and was subsequently Knighted.

A year ago, Qui-Gon spoke his last words, and Obi-Wan promised Qui-Gon that he would train Anakin as a Jedi.

Obi-Wan shuddered, collapsing back into the bed with a quiet groan. His head was aching dully, and there was this strange coldness settling somewhere inside of him.

He felt…lost.

At some point, he’d brought the covers over his face and curled up on his side, too empty and exhausted to do anything else.

Obi-Wan couldn’t even cry, even though there was a part of him that craved the release, that just wanted all of this to _stop_.

He didn’t notice when the sunlight began to stream through his curtains, or even when Anakin’s bedroom door slid open. He didn’t even hear the sounds of Anakin’s footsteps moving around the apartment.

The sound of the knock on his door, hesitant and unsure, brought him out of his stupor.

“Obi-Wan?”

Obi-Wan squeezed his eyes shut as Anakin’s muffled voice came through the door. He knew that Anakin needed him, that he needed to get up and do _something_ , but…

It was too much. _Everything_ was too much.

“I…I just realized that today is a year since…”

Anakin’s voice stopped, and in the Force, Obi-Wan felt his hesitation, traveling easily through their bond.

“I just…you don’t have to be alone, okay? I’m right outside, if you need me. Whatever you need,” Anakin continued.

Obi-Wan sucked in a breath as the coldness somewhere inside of him transitioned into pain, real and _tangible_.

Force, he couldn’t breathe properly now.

“I mean, I know I’m probably not what you need, but…if you just need another person, I’m here.”

Obi-Wan trembled, pressing a hand to his mouth. Distantly, he heard Anakin walking away from the door, and the Force shifted slightly as Anakin’s emotions came into view.

He was _worried_ —about Obi-Wan.

With a slow, deep breath, Obi-Wan pushed the covers off of him and sat up. A wave of dizziness passed through him at the movement; as soon as it passed, he swung his legs over to the side of the bed and stood up.

Then, he shuffled over to the door and opened it.

Anakin was sitting on the couch at the common area, looking up at Obi-Wan with wide, concerned eyes.

“Are you okay?” Anakin asked, standing up slowly. “I don’t—” He cut himself off and swallowed. “Are you?”

Obi-Wan looked away, to the wall behind Anakin, unable to look him in the eyes.

“No,” he rasped. “I don’t think so. I’m sorry.” His voice sounded clipped, unfamiliar.

Anakin shook his head. “It’s not your fault,” he said. “Do you want tea, or something? Or…what will help, Obi-Wan?”

_Qui-Gon would help_ , he wanted to say. Instead, Obi-Wan forced in a breath through the tightness climbing up his throat. He allowed himself a few moments to breathe, to get some sort of control over himself.

Obi-Wan forced himself to move, to walk himself on numb legs over to the couch. He sat stiffly next to Anakin and turned to him slowly.

“Thank you,” he murmured. “You’ve been so supportive, Anakin, while…all of this has been happening. I’m sorry I haven’t been myself, and I’m trying, but…”

_But it’s not enough—I’m not enough._

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, forcing himself to keep his breathing under control.

“Can I…” Anakin’s voice broke into his thoughts, quieter than before. “Can I hug you, Obi-Wan?”

Obi-Wan shivered and nodded slowly. “Yes, I…I think that would help. I’m— _oof_!”

His eyes flew open as Anakin launched himself into his lap, throwing his arms around his shoulders. Obi-Wan shifted himself into a more comfortable position, allowing his shoulders to relax before returning the hug.

There was warmth now, all around him, and finally, he could _breathe_. Obi-Wan trembled in relief as the tightness in his chest loosened enough for him to allow his head to fall onto Anakin’s shoulder.

And then, he cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, and please leave a comment on your way out!
> 
> I really do enjoy writing in this timeframe/era, so. you may be seeing me writing more post-TPM stuff soon :)
> 
> Thanks again!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'll be posting the second part on Saturday, January 30th. See you then! :)
> 
> Oh and also you can find me on tumblr [here](https://pandora15.tumblr.com/).


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